The Heartbeat of a Human
by zombieumbreon
Summary: Sora was tired. He was tired of hurting Roxas, tired of making both of them suffer. That potion would fix it all. Roxas would be free to get away from Sora's dreadful habits and start his own life. What Sora didn't expect was Roxas losing his memory in the process. Sora accompanies Roxas on the ups and downs of being whole, and maybe even finding his own haven through his Nobody.
1. Prologue

**The Heartbeat of a Human**

_"Since I was young,  
I __h__ave always known this:  
Life damages us,  
every __o__ne of us.  
We can't esca__p__e that damage.  
But now, I am also learning this:  
We can be m__e__nded.  
We mend each other."_

Veronica Roth

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prologue.

Sora didn't know why he chose to drink the potion delivered to him by Merlin.

In the back of his mind, he felt as if it wouldn't have any effect whatsoever. _Wait_ – what else is that, that other little tickle going on in the back of his mind? Along with all his doubts, worries, and depression, _what on earth _is_ that?_ Oh, right. Nothing. It's Roxas choosing to be dormant for the past year. That's what.

He couldn't blame the boy; Sora was reminded daily, whether it is through painful memories or subtle déjà vu's, of his general fuck ups as a normal human being.

Sora changed since he was fifteen.

Now at the muchly-dreaded age of seventeen, his habits had become beyond negative. Towards others, no. To himself, yes. The only person he was affecting was himself. Roxas noticed this immediately; the first time Sora accepted a cigarette, the younger boy had known already that his Somebody was going down a dark road that was going to take him _years_ to get out of.

Partying, drinking, drugs, smoking (hell, he's got a bong hidden under his bed that only Roxas knows about) were often running through Sora's thoughts, always eavesdropping in on others' conversations at school to hear whether there would be a local party mentioned, only so he could go to it, invited or not, get shitfaced, and have Roxas take over his being and carry his sorry, drunken ass home.

It's not that Sora wasn't a good person.

The one thing that probably hadn't changed about him was that his friends still meant the world and more to him. Kairi may have not approved of Sora's practical stoner habits, but she stuck by him no matter what. Riku often acted as if Sora didn't do anything bodily harmful at all. But, Sora persuades him every once in a while to go out and get high together.

Sora thinks Roxas was right to elude into the depths of Sora's mind to escape his vices.

No, Sora _knows_ Roxas was right to do so.

He didn't want to bring Roxas into anything that might scar him mentally; he's suffered enough. Sora still talks to him sometimes. Like in the mornings, when he's making breakfast for himself, since his mother usually spends most of her time at work and isn't promised to return even in the morning, he'll ask Roxas whether he wants cinnamon or strawberry syrup on his waffles. Roxas never answers, and Sora doesn't expect him to. He just doesn't want to leave him out, even when Roxas leaves himself out. Purposefully.

He has Roxas? No, he _had_ Roxas.

The potion came with a note from Merlin, another one on the long list of people Sora hasn't seen since his last adventure with Donald and Goofy, which was, when? Fifteen? Sixteen? He doesn't know. He hopes they're doing alright.

The letter read:

_Dear Sora and Roxas,_

_For the past few months, I have been constructing a potion that would separate you two and still keep you both whole._

_Please drink this potion and wait up to 10 minutes for the effects to kick in. Note that there may be a few mishaps on Roxas' end of the deal._

_Sincerely,_

_Merlin_

_P.S. Sora, please take better care of yourself._

Sora wanted to tear the letter up after reading that last bit, but he stopped himself. His eyes lazily focused their attention back on the neon pink substance inside of the contraption. _This will help you; this will free you_, Sora repeats in his mind to his other, holding the small potion bottle between his pointer and thumb, eyeing it carefully. He knows Roxas isn't listening to him anymore, but _just in case he happened to be this one time…_

The seventeen year old shrugged, placing a foot on the edge of the coffee table, "Bottoms up." He downed the liquid with experience (shots will do that to you) and stuffed the note in his back pocket, letting out an absentminded sigh.

Roxas hadn't said a word. Or thought. Whichever fits better.

Sora stared at the blank TV screen for a while, doubting that the potion would actually work. He eventually made his way up to his room, being sure to snag a pack of cigarettes from his secret stash in one of the cupboards in the kitchen first. Dragging his feet to his bed, he took a mere glance at the clock.

"Two minutes and you're out, Roxas," Sora muttered, lighting the cigarette dangling out the corner of his mouth.

No answer.

Sora paused. The juvenile brunette took a long drag, staring blankly at his window. Not out. _At._ He wondered if he would subconsciously decide at the last minute that he didn't want to let Roxas leave and end up blocking the door, so the only resort for Roxas would be to jump out the window. He could do it; it wasn't that much of a leap. Sora's done it before, sneaking out at 1 in the morning.

Sora shook his head, as if that would clear the unwanted thoughts. But it didn't work that way. He wondered how it would feel if Roxas left him. Painful, probably (in not just the physically leaving-his-body thing). Maybe he should've thought that potion thing through…

Then it happened.

A searing pain ripped through his chest, and he let out a startled gasp, falling onto his bed. It felt as if someone had just punched their hand into his ribcage and was squeezing his heart with a mighty grip. Sora gripped his V-neck, crying out and feeling a warm light surround him.

_And here's an example of one of those déjà vu's I mentioned_, Sora managed to form a complete thought in his head, though it had been blurred. It was just like releasing Kairi's heart from him years ago.

Except it made Roxas appear.

Literally.

There he was: lying on the floor, panting, and naked.

"Roxas?" Sora breathed out, surprisingly able to push himself up enough to look over at the younger boy. He was too focused on his former Nobody to realize he had been panting for air, too.

Roxas looked up at him through startled pure blue eyes. He was exactly how Sora remembered him, but he looked… Confused?

Huh?

Sora's eyebrows furrowed, his mouth still agape from panting, as he stared at the blond. Roxas slowly pushed himself up, looking about the room; his confused expression changed to a terrified one. After the successful attempt of sitting up, Roxas covered himself with his hands, and his gaze finally made their way back to Sora only to eye the older teen wearily.

The two stared at each other for a moment, as if it were just a dream.

Sora's eyes widened at the sudden remembrance of Merlin's letter: '_Note that there may be a few mishaps on Roxas' end of the deal.'_

Mishaps? Like what? Roxas seemed perfectly healthy. All of his limbs are attached; that had been the first thing Sora made sure of.

_Wait._

"Roxas," Sora said quietly, bringing Roxas' attention toward him, as if it ever left. "Do you know who I am?" Sora asked, keeping the tone of his voice soft and his words slow. Roxas swallowed, an apparent frown on his face, as he slowly shook his head.

_Oh._

His memories.

They're gone.


	2. Chapter 1

** The Heartbeat of a Human**

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chapter one.

"No, I'm asking if you have any medicine to improve memory," Sora groaned into the phone.

He took a quick glance back at Roxas, who was quietly sitting at the kitchen table, a bowl of cereal placed in front of him; Sora figured he was starving. Though, his mere glance turned into a double take when he saw Roxas only dipping the tip of his spoon into the milk and pulling it out again, not even bothering to pick up any cereal with it. He had also given Roxas some of his clothes to wear, for he was almost certain that his mother would refuse to buy an entirely new wardrobe just for one boy that wasn't even her true son, so he just settled with the fact that he'd let Roxas bum clothes off of him. The brunette mentally chuckles. Since Roxas was noticeably not as tall as Sora, Sora's clothes seemed to be a bit lengthy on the boy. Roxas didn't seem to mind, or even _notice_, that his sleeves covered everything but the tips of his fingers.

Sora froze for a moment. _How am I gonna explain Roxas to Mom? Where's he gonna stay? What if she doesn't let him stay here, with me? He'll be totally helpless out in the real world. He even struggles trying to say my name!_

The voice of a counter-bound nurse on the other end of the receiver interrupted Sora's gaze, making him turn his back to Roxas. "I'm sorry, sir, but those medications are strictly used for patients with mental disorders and are not to be handed out to non-regular patients," her high-pitched voice said slowly. Sora bit his lip and rolled his eyes, turning back to face his former Nobody.

"Well, is there anything else I could try?" Sora queried his impatience notable in his tone. He saw that Roxas was still performing the same action he had been doing five minutes ago: dipping the tip of the spoon into the milk, removing it, and dipping it in again.

Sora tapped on the kitchen's wooden island-like table to get Roxas' attention. Roxas looked up curiously after the first few taps. Sora motioned with his free hand the movement of: taking an invisible spoon, scooping it into an invisible bowl, and lifting the imaginary spoon to his mouth to take a fake bite. Roxas watched carefully before focusing back on the cereal in front of him. He slowly lowered his spoon into the milk, tilting it slightly to pick up some of the colorful O's floating around in the bowl, and lifted it back to his mouth, taking an exaggerated bite of it, just as Sora had exampled.

Sora nodded in approval at the blond's antics.

"Um, no, there's nothing on the market that's legal for me to give you over the counter," Sora heard the woman say. He glared at the floor and leaned against a counter, accidentally letting out a sigh, which ended up turning Roxas' attention to him once more. Unfortunately, the nurse heard Sora's said action, as well. "I-I'm sorry, Mr. Kingsleigh," she stuttered. Sora licked his lips in frustration, "It's fine." He saw through the corner of his eye that Roxas had stopped eating and had begun to pay more attention to him than his food. Sora looked at him and nodded toward the cereal, telling the younger teen to continue eating. Roxas obeyed.

"Thanks anyway," and at that, Sora hung up the phone and remained leaning against his current spot on the counter, watching Roxas awkwardly eat his cereal; he moved as slow as a tortoise, as if he were focusing all of his attention on the concept and technique of cereal-eating. _That should be in the Olympics_, Sora thought to himself, not being able to hold back the quirk of a smile that tugged at one of the corners of his mouth. He imagined the sports announcer speaking into the microphone as millions of people cheered in the background. He would say, '_And now, we have Roxas with his finest achievement, the art of Slowly Eaten Apple Jacks,'_ and the entire crowd would go deafeningly loud, as Roxas sat in the middle of a field, not paying attention to the crowd but instead on his bowl of cereal and _just_ his bowl of cereal.

Sora shook his head with a slight chuckle, "How am I gonna tell Mom about you," he murmured.

Roxas leaned away from the cereal and pushed the bowl toward the center of the table, making Sora raise his head to look over at him.

"You don't want anymore?" Sora asked.

Roxas shook his head no.

Sora sat down opposite of Roxas and gladly took the unfinished bowl of cereal, eating it at least 10x quicker than Roxas could. Somehow, this intrigued Roxas. He stared at Sora with this stunned face as the older teen scarfed down the meal without any thought of the technique or concept or art of cereal-eating.

"You sure you don't want anything else?" Sora asked before tipping the bowl toward his mouth to drink the remaining milk. He saw Roxas shake his head no, but then both boys were startled by a bark.

Sora put the bowl down and looked over Roxas' shoulder at the stairs only to see an animal of black and white bolt down them.

"Patch," Sora groaned. The puppy mindlessly ignored his owner and scurried over to Roxas' side of the table, clawing at the younger teen's legs and wagging his tail from side to side. Sora watched Roxas' reaction carefully: first, he was taken aback; second, he looked a bit scared; third, he didn't do anything but stare wildly back at the playful pup.

Sora breathed out a chuckle. "Patch, down," he ordered. The Dalmatian obeyed and hurried over to Sora's end of the table now. Roxas still gazed at the dog with wide eyes. Sora looked up from petting Patch to see Roxas more than interested by the interaction between man and dog.

"Here," Sora said, getting up to get a dog treat from one of the cupboards. He turned back to Roxas, handing him the treat. "Try to feed him. He likes these," he told Roxas. Roxas took the treat, gave it a funny look, sniffed it, and then grimaced, trying to hand it back to Sora. Sora lightly pushed Roxas' hand in the direction of Patch, "It's not for you. It's for him, Roxas."

Roxas held his hand out to the puppy, the treat sitting in the center of his palm. Patch sniffed it, his nose tickling Roxas' palm, making the blond jerk back before Sora lightly grabbed his wrist and held him still. Roxas felt Patch' tongue retrieve the dog treat, watching carefully as the dog chomped graciously, his tail still swaying back and forth.

Sora couldn't help a smile as he saw the awe-stricken expression on Roxas' ivory face.

"This is Roxas," Sora said boldly to his mother. Both boys stood straight as they watched Sora's mother putting away groceries in a rush. She turned to face the boys, running a hand through her auburn hair. "It's nice to meet you, sweetie, you can call me Julie. I'm sorry about being in a hurry for this first impression," she said, placing a brand new bag of dog treats in a cupboard next to the old bag the two boys had used earlier. "Are you new around here, Roxas?"

"Uh, I actually wanted to ask you something," Sora said quietly, not wanting to give Roxas a chance to answer. Who knows what incoherent thing might come out of his mouth?

"Sure, what is it, hon?" Julie called, going to put a gallon of laundry detergent in the pantry closet. Roxas tilted his head to try and look over Sora's mother and into the pantry, the tall, foldable doors making his mouth open a fraction, not to mention the newly amount of food kept inside it.

"Uh," Sora stalled, nervously averting his eyes to look down at the ground. His mother stopped putting away items at the sound of her son making his uncertainty noticeable.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, worry in her tone as she looked at both boys. Sora sighed, looking up to face his mother. "Roxas doesn't have a home. His family, uh, kicked him out," he said slowly but trying to keep his words blunt.

Julie's eyes quickly shifted to look over at Roxas, who was curiously looking at Sora, as if he were just as fascinated by the story as Julie. Sora continued, "He doesn't have anyone else around here to go to. So, I was just wondering if it'd be alright if we could, uh, take him in, maybe…?"

Julie bit her lip, continuing her gaze at the shorter boy.

"What'd he get kicked out for?"

Sora's lips tightened into a line before he quickly formed an answer. He sighed. "Alright, fine. I didn't want to have to tell you the truth, but," he mused, "he didn't actually get kicked out."

Sora's mother raised her head expectantly, placing one hand on the tabletop. "He ran away. His parents, they're drug addicts and really abusive. And, unfortunately, he wasn't able to bring any of his own stuff because when they found out that he was leaving them, they burned all his clothes and things in their fireplace. That's all he told me. He said he doesn't want to think about it anymore."

"Oh, honey," Julie murmured, frowning a look of pity in Roxas' direction.

Sora smiled weakly. "So, I'm fine with sharing my clothes, and yeah. It'd be fun, ya know? He's just like another puppy," he said quietly, gesturing toward Patch, who was lying on the couch beside the two boys. Julie cracked a crooked smile, "Okay. That'd be alright with me. Does he go to your school?"

Sora straightened. "Eh, he was sort of homeschooled, so no. I met him through Selphie," he told her. Roxas stayed quiet, silently comparing the physical similarities of mother and son in his mind. Julie huffed out a breath, "He can stay." Sora's face lit up tenfold, and Roxas felt an instant perk in his current attitude at the sight of the older teen being happy.

"As long as he keeps the seat down," he heard his mother say as she walked up the stairs, a pack of new boxers for Sora in hand. Sora's grin turned into a cringe at the comment _and_ what she was holding. "Haha, yeah," he called back.

He then span on his heel to face Roxas, who straightened immediately. Sora placed his hands firmly on Roxas' shoulders.

"I need to potty train you."

"Okay," Sora said proudly after lifting the toilet seat. "Stand right here," he grabbed Roxas' shoulders and shifted him over to stand in front of the toilet. Roxas didn't have much of a choice but to do as told.

"Now, you take 'im out," he pointed to Roxas' crotch, "Aim. And let it fly."

Roxas looked down at where Sora pointed, only to look back up at Sora with a confused look. Sora crossed his arms and shook his head, "I'm not doing this for you. You have to do it yourself."

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows questionably, slowly unzipping the jeans Sora let him wear. Before he went any further, he looked up at Sora, sending him an uncomfortable look, which Sora understood immediately.

Sora held his hands up in defeat, as if he were being prosecuted by the police to show that he had no weapons.

"Don't worry, I'm leaving."

Sora stepped around Roxas, as the blond watched him carefully, making sure he shut the door fully. "Wash your hands when you're done," he heard Sora say through the wood of the door. Roxas figured Sora was waiting right outside the bathroom. He nodded, forgetting that Sora can't see him, and looked down at the toilet in front of him.

He did just as Sora told him: 'Take 'im out, aim, and let it fly.' Roxas looked at his newly revealed appendage and wondered why Sora called this body part "'im." He then noticed there was a problem.

"S-Sora," Roxas stuttered out Sora's name, having trouble remembering it. He heard feet shift.

"Yeah?" The recognizable voice answered.

"I, uh, I need help."

Sora looked over at the clock on the end of the hall. "Roxas, it hasn't even been a minute. How could you mess up already?"

"I don't know," Roxas muttered, staring intently down at both his private and the toilet.

"Well, what happened?" Sora said. Roxas could tell he was leaning against the door now, hearing the older teen's weight being pressed onto it.

"It won't fly."

Sora basically choked on his words.

"W-What?"

"I said it won't fly."

It was silent for a moment, and Roxas wondered if Sora had abandoned him.

And then there was the sound of Sora's laughter.

Sora felt his back slowly slide down the door as his laughter died down into chuckles. "Rox, your dick's not gonna fly," Sora laughed out. Roxas looked down at himself and made a face as if he was disappointed by that fact.

"Just piss," Sora was like.

Roxas took a moment to steady himself. He aimed, relaxed an instinctive muscle, and pissed. Sora continued to silently giggle as he listened to the sound of trickles coming from inside the bathroom.

"Now what?" He heard Roxas' quiet voice say when the trickling stopped. He sounded so timid that it made Sora smile slightly. This was new to him, for he remembers Roxas being quite intimidating, actually. The loss of his memories also caused the loss of his attitude.

"Shake," Sora answered, stretching his legs out and resting the back of his head against the bathroom door. Roxas looked at the door, guessing where he thought Sora was sitting and gave that area a look.

He didn't think to even answer the older boy, making Sora curious of what he was doing in there. Sora sighed and brought the back of his hand up, knocking lightly on the door.

"Roxas, did you hear me?"

"I don't know what 'shake' is."

A light bulb went off in Sora's head as he exclaimed, "Oh!"

He got up and asked Roxas if he could come in, promising that he would mind Roxas' privacy. Roxas agreed to this, though he still made sure to cover himself in front of Sora's gaze.

Sora stood in the doorway, his hands on his hips, as he teasingly said to Roxas, "I'm _definitely_ not doing this for you." He laughed mentally at the dumbfounded look Roxas had.

"Uh," Sora mused, "Ya know, wiggle it." He felt a light heat race to his cheeks, making his statement sound more of a question. Sora didn't really know _how_ to define 'shake'.

Roxas continued to give him the same confused look, so Sora had no other choice but to example this to him. Roxas watched carefully as Sora sighed. Sora's face hardened as balled his hand into a fist, put it in front of his crotch, and shook his fist back and forth as if he were the one having to perform this act. An understanding wiped across Roxas' face, and he nodded at Sora. He looked back down and went over the things Sora did in his mind one more time before copying the technique. Sora held back an immature chuckle when he heard little leftover droplets of Roxas' piss hit the toilet water.

Sora flushed it for him, so Roxas could take the time to practice and get used to zipping and unzipping his pants.

"Now, wash your hands," Sora pulled Roxas' hands over to the sink and turned the knob for the water to run. He got a squirt of soap on his hands and wiped it onto Roxas' for him to use. Sora helped him through the process of: wet, rub, wet, and dry. After Roxas dried his hands, Sora noticed that his own fingers were dripping with water due to Roxas needing some assistance when it came to rubbing in the soap. Sora smirked, and as soon as Roxas turned to face him, he took the moment to flick the water into his face.

Roxas' face held a surprised expression as water droplets hit him in the face, but soon, it turned into a confused frown. Roxas looked at the towel hanging on the rack and picked up the fluffy bottom of it and held it up toward Sora, unspokenly telling him to dry his hands off, much like how Sora had told him no more than a few seconds ago.

Sora only laughed and pulled on the other's arm to lead him out the bathroom.

"So, I might as well give you a tour of the house," Sora mumbled, allowing Roxas to enter the bedroom first.

"Starting with my room," he finished.

Roxas had not gotten to get a good look at his surroundings when he had first appeared, but now he had the chance to. The poster-covered walls were painted a dark shade of blue, matching the color of the blankets on Sora's bed, which was placed underneath a window on the right side of the room. Sora put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and leaned against the wall, watching with an amused face as Roxas looked around, fascinated by every little thing he found.

The younger teenager's eyes gazed over the bookshelf, which was filled from bottom to top, kept at the foot of Sora's bed. The part of the wall it was placed at seemed to cave inward into the room, making it look like it was specifically designed for the bed to fit perfectly in the area where the wall didn't cave in. Also along the foot of Sora's bed, a mirror was placed on the said caved-in wall. Roxas didn't know if Sora very much liked the idea of seeing his bedhead first thing in the morning right when he sat up. This thought had occurred to him when he saw Sora roll his eyes away from the mirror to look back at Roxas. Roxas averted his gaze almost immediately.

There was a computer desk placed directly opposite of the door. Roxas didn't know what a laptop was yet, but he ended up telling Sora that he liked the shiny thing on the desk. Sora answered with a chuckle and a nod. Roxas turned to see the left side of the room, the door marking off the 'middle'. He noticed right away that this side was smaller; if the room was split up into thirds, this side would only be one-third. Video game systems and cords covered the floor, taking up its own section of the dark carpet, just like the dirty clothes that were scattered about. Above the systems, there was a flat-screen TV on the wall where there happened to be no posters in the way. To the left all of that was an open closet, containing Sora's clothes that obviously have been tossed about, as well.

Roxas' attention was held by this. Interest flooded him as he turned and slowly made his way over to said closet, carefully stepping over thrown-about clothing articles. Sora's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the other, straightening his posture a bit. Roxas' hands thoughtlessly roamed through the shirts hanging in Sora's closet to clear the way in order to look at the very back of it.

Behind all the mess, there were key chains hanging neatly and horizontally parallel to one another inside a glass container which was hung on the back of the closet wall by the hidden nails underneath it. Roxas' eyes widened slightly at the shine they produced, though it was obvious that there was hardly ever any light back here. Thanks to Roxas, the afternoon sun shone strong through the window above Sora's bed across the room and into the closet, reflecting back onto the blond's face from the different colored chains.

Sora, however, felt a weird feeling of dysphoria at the sight of the key chains. His face subconsciously crinkled into a grimace; he hadn't had a thought of the Keyblade in months, and now that Roxas has just revealed them to himself, a sudden remembrance of angst and pain overwhelmed Sora. It happened in slow motion: Roxas lifting his fair hand and extending his fingers to touch the container. Sora felt his stomach lurch and his eyes widening. Before he knew what he was doing, he was right next to Roxas, holding his wrist to prevent the younger from touching the glass case.

Roxas stilled upon the contact, looking silently at Sora's grip on him with his mouth opened a fraction. Unblinking, his gaze moved upward to look at Sora apprehensively. Sora was frozen, as well. He calmly brought Roxas' wrist down away from the back of the closet and cleared his throat.

"Don't touch my things without my permission."

Roxas' face held a stifled frown, but he nodded in understanding.

Roxas continued at a slow pace around the room, continuously reminding himself not to grab any of Sora's things, and whenever he happened to forget his mental rule of _No Touching Sora's Stuff_ and absentmindedly reached out for an object that caught his attention, Sora would be quick to lightly swat the boy's hand away. Roxas was surprised by the sudden contact the first couple of times this happened, but he eventually overlooked it and ended up ignoring the gentle slaps on the back of his hand.

Sora was relieved when Roxas finally stopped moving at the rate of a sloth around his bedroom and actually sat down Indian-style in front of his bookshelf. The older teen, who was busy putting the few items Roxas _did_ happen to get his small hands on back in their rightful places, took a glance back at said blond. Roxas looked so tiny compared to Sora's tall bookshelf. Sora approached him quietly, not wanting to disturb the younger in his current trance state, his eyes noticeably full of wonder as he craned his neck to look up and down the many shelves.

"Roxas."

Sora's voice was hoarse from not having to talk for half an hour, so he cleared his throat slightly as he knelt beside his former Nobody.

Roxas had not noticed his name being called, as he continued to gaze at the hardcovers to the paperbacks to the several knickknacks Sora had lying around randomly on each shelf. "Roxas," Sora said once more, finally succeeding in getting Roxas' attention as the younger teen's line of vision snapped in Sora's direction.

Sora was quick; he slid Roxas' sitting form around to face him, making Roxas stiffen at the abruptness of Sora's actions, and placed his right hand on the center of Roxas' chest. Roxas leant back, gasping silently, his expression changing to a more confused one as he looks back and forth between Sora's hand and Sora's face. There was a moment of silence as the two teenagers stayed like this. Sora was not looking at Roxas' face; he was staring directly at his hand placed on Roxas' torso, feeling for any movement at all. Even breathing.

Though, the breathing came naturally, of course.

But then there it was.

_A heartbeat._

Joy filled Sora, his expression lifted radiantly, and even a full-on grin formed on his lips. He chortled, finally raising his eyes to meet Roxas' cerulean irises.

"You have a heart."

Roxas tilted his head slightly. His eyebrows furrowed, and he placed a hand on Sora's forearm to gently remove the other's hand from his chest. Sora didn't object. He then simply placed both hands on the sides of Roxas' head—not face—_head._

"You have a heart!" Sora repeated, still laughing heartedly at this gleeful factor. Roxas didn't know why this was such a big deal. The younger boy's face had contorted into a distraught look, his eyes shut tight as he let Sora shake his head back and forth, as if trying to joggle the news into his small skull.

Thankfully, the shaking soon stopped, and Roxas opened his eyes slowly to be met with similar looking ones right in front of his face, a broad smile still apparent on this face he was greeted with. Roxas reached up and carefully removed Sora's hands from him once more. He was sure to hold onto them, though, placing the brunette's larger hands in his lap, keeping a grip on Sora's wrists.

"What's a heart?" Roxas asks quietly.

Sora's eyes widen a fraction, and his smile faltered slightly, "Well, it's, um," there was a pause as Sora looked away as if he would find the answer on his dark carpet. Roxas only stared unblinking.

"It's what's keeping you alive," Sora finishes his sentence. There was yet another awkward pause before Sora continued.

"Can you feel?" He asked cautiously, now crossing his own legs. His face held a concerned look.

Roxas gave an uncomfortable stare, "I do not understand." The blond locks on Roxas' head gave a light sway as Roxas shook his head, not taking his eyes off Sora.

Sora's mouth opens slightly. "I mean, do you feel any emotions?" He questioned, keeping his tone gentle and quiet. "You know, happy? Sad?" Sora paused, "Anger?"

Roxas' eyebrows turned upward into a frown, as the boy gave Sora a weird look. "I don't know," he mutters in response. Silence followed Roxas' answer. Sora looked down once more, his mouth tilting into something like a scowl, going through all of his thoughts to find an easier way to explain emotions to him, but Roxas senses the tension and breaks the unbearable quiet atmosphere.

"Will I ever, um, _feel them_?"

Sora looks back up at him with a peaceful gaze, "Eventually, you'll have to."

As the day goes on, Sora continues to show Roxas his way around the house. Sora's mom having been a psychiatrist and a part-time nurse practitioner, she gets paid quite well, despite being a single parent; thus, she was sure to find and afford a slightly larger-than-most house in a well-founded neighborhood near the center of Destiny Islands for her son to spend his childhood and teen years in. Not to mention she's able to pay for the uptight private school specifically for gifted students with no lower than a B+ average.

One would say Sora was _quite_ the spoiled teenager.

Sora simply followed Roxas as he wandered out of Sora's room and into the hallway. Roxas held no shame in showing how amazed he was at all the large rooms. Most of them were only offices Sora's mother used for her work. Roxas would gape at each of them, even if they weren't that special to look at. He then would clamp his mouth shut once he'd noticed it had been open only for his jaw to slowly fall back down once more. Sora held in his laughs when he saw this, for Roxas resembled a fish.

He was especially amazed at the staircase in the back corner of the house, connecting Julie's even-larger-than-Sora's bedroom to her main office downstairs, where she would occasionally have patients come visit her, and Sora would have to hide up in his room during these appointments, or else his mother's patients would constantly comment on _'what a handsome boy her son is'_ or _'how their daughters would love to meet him'_.

Anyway, it was a spiraling staircase, so it was expected for Roxas to be intrigued by it. Hell, when he and his mother first moved here back when Sora was ten, he could've spent four hours just running up and down it.

Now, seven years later, Sora wishes he still had that kind of energy.

Roxas reminded Sora of himself when he was younger in this situation, for once they reached the bottom of the twisting staircase, Roxas pointed back up it and asked if they could walk back up it to walk down it once more. Sora didn't object. He wanted to walk down it again, too.

Downstairs, Roxas completely ignored the main office, which was almost as big as Julie's bedroom, save the miniature, second bathroom on the other end opposite of the _oh-so _wonderful staircase they had just came down for the third time now. This room must not have been interesting to Roxas. Sora couldn't blame him; he doesn't like coming in here that much, either.

Roxas walked out of the office and saw that most of the bottom floor was what Sora had called 'The Living Room'.

"Living room," Roxas repeated, taking in the sight of another flat screen TV that was larger than the one in Sora's room, which had even more game systems and cords piled underneath it. Though, Roxas only _heard_ Sora say _'tee-vee_,_'_ so he actually had no clue what a _'tee-vee'_ really was. Roxas pointed at it. Sora looked in the direction Roxas' finger pointed to.

"The TV? What about it?"

Roxas looked back at the older teenager, a childish look on his face. "_What is it?_"

Sora stared at him for a bit before leaving the wall he was leaning on and walked over to the coffee table in the center of the room. He reached down and picked up the remote, clicked a button, and the TV, from Roxas' eyes, formed several colors and pictures that Roxas could only guess were _supposed_ to show up. Roxas stood still and stared up at it, his eyes wide as he watched the screen, and Sora watched him with an amused look.

After fifteen minutes, Roxas finally broke out of his trance and turned to his left to see a large, outmoded, wooden piano against the wall. Roxas made a small sound, something like an 'ooo' as he made his way toward it. Sora watched him closely as he cut the TV off and followed Roxas. Both boys stood over the ancient piano, one more hesitant than the other. Sora smiled warmly as his gaze softened at the shorter boy, who failed to notice this fact as he was too absorbed in the old, rugged instrument.

Sora felt his hand lift, and his fingers lightly wrapped around Roxas' wrist, bringing the blond's hand over to a key. Roxas instinctively held out his pointer finger and pressed down on the key Sora guided him to. A low sound echoed around the two, making Roxas jump slightly. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't a _noise_. Sora removed his grip from Roxas' wrist, his eyes twinkling with delight as Roxas pressed down on the same tenor key once more, still looking just as surprised as he did the first time. Roxas' finger drifted from the left side over to the right, and he pressed down a key there. Enthusiasm filled him when he heard that the note he just made was much higher than the first one. He continued to press random keys, each key encouraging him to press another. Roxas had no care for whether he was actually playing a song or not, for he just liked the sound it was making. Sora got the boy to stop playing notes long enough to tell him that this instrument was called a _piano_ and that his mother plays it whenever she has free-time, which wasn't very often. Roxas only nodded in understanding, turning back to the keys to continue pressing ones at random.

Sora soon had to pry Roxas away from it in order to show him the remainder of the house, which held many other appealing things for Roxas to learn about.

"I'm gonna have to explain everything to you, aren't I?" Sora questioned, an uncharacteristically petulant look upon his matured face. The boys had already covered most of the house, yet Roxas kept wanting to go back to the spiral staircase, which led to wanting to look at the television again, which led to wanting to play with the piano once more, and each time the two had passed a room they already covered, Roxas would find something different for Sora to elaborate on. Some things Roxas asked about Sora didn't even think he'd ever have to explain to someone, such as an iron, peanut butter, a toothbrush, a frying pan, and, again, the TV.

The TV was asked about around five times now.

Roxas was even confused by how to open the doors, for they would hit the poor lad in the face when he tried, and he'd turn back to look at Sora, who had to show him that he had to _step out of the way_ of the door before he could walk through it.

Once the dreadful tour was over, Sora and Roxas both sat on the floor in Sora's bedroom. The room was now shadowy, for nighttime was nearing, and the moonlight shown on both boys' face, but Roxas refused to take his wondrous eyes off of Sora's, trying his best to pay attention to the rules of the game.

Sora had decided that it was best to teach Roxas starting off with the very basics, and by _very basics_, Sora means the _absolute, bottom-line, start of the basic _basics. That's right.

Hide and Seek.

Sora and Roxas sat crisscrossed in front of each other. "Okay, I'll count to one-hundred, and you go find a hiding place somewhere in the house, alright?" Sora informed Roxas once more. Roxas gave a confused look, but he nods.

"O-kay," Sora spoke, satisfied enough with Roxas' response and covered his eyes, beginning to count. Roxas does not move, but simply continues to sit in front of Sora. He watches the older teenager count all the numbers from one to one-hundred. When he finishes, Sora exclaims, "Ready or not, here I-!" only to stop at the sight of Roxas staring intently back at him. "Come…?" Sora finished.

He and Roxas both stared at each other in an awkward silence that wasn't as awkward for Roxas.

"A for effort," Sora smiled a crooked grin.

Sora brought Roxas back downstairs for dinner, but he found a note on the counter in his mother's handwriting.

_I got called in for late assistance at the hospital._

Sora scowled as he read the first line, but apparently that was expected.

_Don't be like that, honey. Though, I'm not sure when I'll be home._

_The number to order pizza is on the fridge._

_Don't forget to share, Sora._

_Love you._

A heart was drawn at the bottom of the note. Sora crumpled up the sticky note and placed it in the trashcan. Roxas watched patiently from the kitchen table as Sora dialed an unknown number and talked to a middle-aged sounding man on the other line.

The time spent waiting for the pizza to be delivered turned into time spent exchanging uneasy glances between the two males, one sitting uncomplainingly in his chair and the other leaning against a kitchen counter with both arms crossed in front of his chest. Sora was going over in his mind how he could handle this entire situation in the best way possible, or if he even did the right thing to begin with.

_ Maybe Roxas was safer when he was merged with me? Maybe this wasn't a good decision. I should have planned this out better; I should hav-_

Roxas interrupted Sora's thoughts. "Sora?" He breathed, his voice soft but audible.

Sora's head shot up to look over at Roxas. Sora had not noticed that his arms were no longer crossed, and his hands were shaking. He looked down at them and back at Roxas, who held a look of concern on his heart-shaped face. Sora quickly moved over to the other side of the kitchen, digging through one of the many drawers. Roxas could only watch as his newly found Other struggled to pull out an orange-tinted prescription bottle of the wooden drawer and dump two pills into his still-shaky palm. Sora tossed the medication into the back of his throat, swallowing both at once without any liquid to wash it down. He had had to do this so often that he didn't even need anything to wash it down anymore.

Sora slowly put the prescription bottle back in the drawer and shut it lightly. Feeling the meds kick in, Sora clenched his fists and slowly turned to face Roxas. Fear was practically written on the blond's innocent face.

"I'm okay," Sora reassured, forcing a weak smile. "I'll explain later." This obviously did not satisfy Roxas' concern, for the younger male continued to look at the older with a worried look in his gaze. Much to Sora's luck, the doorbell rang, and Sora did not hesitate to hurry out the kitchen to answer it to avoid Roxas' disquiet stare.

Roxas ended up really liking pizza, and it took his mind of off Sora's miniature anxiety attack, which Sora was plenty thankful for. Though, he did end up having to wipe Roxas' mouth quite a lot, for the sauce would dribble down the boy's chin and splatter on the sides of his mouth.

"Roxas, look at me," Sora would be like.

Roxas would turn his head to face Sora, cheeks stuffed with pizza crust and cheese, and Sora would steadily hold onto the tip of Roxas' chin, using his free hand to wipe Roxas' face, to which Roxas would always grimace at the contact of hard paper towel against his baby-soft skin.

"Okay, come here," Sora said, pulling Roxas into the bathroom, towels, boxers, and night shirts in his hands. Luckily, the bathroom was big enough for the two of them both, and could probably fit even about seven more teenagers, as well. As Roxas gazed up at the nicely lit bathroom; he had never gotten a good look at it before, for he was trying too hard to focus on his aim, not the scenery. There was a large tub in the back of the bathroom with an equally sized window above it, and alongside it was a glass shower. Roxas gazed at it, his mouth accidentally forming a small 'O' shape yet again, and Sora tugged on his arms to bring him forward. Roxas obeyed. He was too spellbound by the magnificence of the ceramic tiles that made up part of the walls and the entire outer shell of the tub.

Before Roxas could speak against him, Sora lifted the boy's shirt up over his head, revealing his small stomach to the brunette. His arms instinctively bunched up in front of his torso, attempting to cover his body. Sora only chuckled and started unbuttoning the jeans he lent Roxas. Roxas held his breath as he did so.

The young blond felt the denim material bunch around his ankles, and Sora helped Roxas lift his legs to step out of them, Roxas having to hold onto Sora's broad shoulders to maintain his balance. Sora pulled off the socks Roxas had borrowed, as well.

Sora straightened and reached down to remove the only remaining garment on Roxas' body, but Roxas caught Sora's hand before he could do so.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asked, his eyes glinting with purity.

"Well, you don't know how to shower, do you?" Sora retorted.

Roxas shook his head after a moment of analyzing Sora's words. Sora let out a smug 'hmph', and his fingers laced around the boxers Roxas was wearing and pulled them down, helping Roxas step out of those, too.

Roxas now stood in front of Sora, completely exposed. His arms were no longer trying to cover his chest and were now focusing on hiding his lower half from Sora's gaze. Not that Sora was paying much attention anyway, for he had moved over to the bathtub and started running the hot water, adding soaps to the water as the level of it rose.

Sora looked over his shoulder at the timid, naked Roxas and beckoned him over. Roxas was hesitant, but dragged his bare feet across the cold, tiled floor to where Sora knelt in front of the tub.

"I'm guessing it's been about two or three years since you've had a bath," Sora commented with a laugh. Roxas didn't get the innuendo, so he just looked down at Sora funny. Sora cut the water off once the tub was filled almost to the top, and Sora stood, towering over Roxas, who continued to hide his private parts.

"In," Sora commanded, though his tone was not harsh. Roxas made a face at the soapy water, and then looked back up at Sora with the same expression.

"What?" Sora queried, raising an eyebrow.

Roxas didn't answer, but his distorted expression faltered into an unsure one. Sora tilted his head, "Are you gonna get in?"

Roxas still didn't answer. Sora sighed, "You think it's dangerous?"

Roxas nodded slowly.

"Rox, it's not going to hurt you," Sora said, rolling his eyes as he knelt down to flick some of the bubbles up at Roxas. Roxas still refused to get in. Sora thought a moment.

"Would you get in if I got in with you?"

Roxas' head nodded what he was taught meant 'yes', and Sora let out another defeated sigh as he reached behind him to pull off his black V-neck, revealing his own toned upper half to the younger. Soon, Sora's clothes joined with Sora's other clothes that were worn by Roxas on the floor, yet Sora was not the one still covering up his lower half.

Sora got in first. The hot water had cooled some, and water shifted with the newly added weight and came up to his chest. He placed his back against one end of the bathtub and raised an arm to help Roxas in now.

Roxas slowly sat down in between Sora's lap, feeling around under the warm, bubbly water for Sora's legs to make sure he was sitting in the right place. He settled himself, the water coming up to his collarbone. Bubbles floated on the surface, and Roxas playfully picked several up and blew them out of his palm. Sora smiled as he reached over for a washcloth.

"Gimme your arm, Roxas," Sora muttered, holding a hand out for Roxas to put his arm in. Roxas did so, too infatuated by the clots of bubbles floating around the pair to even noticed Sora gently scrubbing his arm with the cloth. Sora cleaned Roxas' other arm before reaching over again but this time for a toothbrush from the countertop. He put toothpaste upon it and handed it to Roxas, who took it and gave a confused look back at Sora.

"Practice brushing your teeth while I do this," Sora said, picking up the washcloth again and reaching over to rub it on Roxas' chest. Sora continuously had to remind Roxas that it was _up and down_, not _back and forth_.

When Sora finished washing Roxas' body, he grabbed the shampoo, squirting some into the palm of his hand. Roxas had a sudden wave of tired wash over him, and he was now drifting off to sleep on Sora's shoulder.

Sora pushed his shoulder upward, hoping to wake Roxas up enough so he could wash the boy's hair. Roxas sat up enough for Sora to balance him enough with his knees keeping the blond upright. Sora took the plastic basin he had been using to rinse the soap off of Roxas' body and now used it to wet Roxas' honey blonde locks, turning it into a shiny, darker tone. Sora lathered the shampoo in his hands before smoothing it over Roxas' scalp, his fingers working much like a massage for Roxas.

Sora was caught off guard when he heard Roxas let out a soft moan, watching as the younger male's eyes fluttered shut. Sora let a small smile pass his lips at the sight, his hands still massaging Roxas' head.

When Sora decided that Roxas' hair was clean enough, he placed his left hand over Roxas' already-shut eyes to shield them. "Put your head back a little further, Roxas," Sora whispered. Roxas did as he was told. Sora slowly poured warm water onto Roxas' hair to rinse out the shampoo. He heard Roxas breathe a sigh of content.

Once Roxas was all clean from head to toe, Sora placed his hands underneath Roxas' armpits, attempting to lift the boy off of him so he could get out of the tub first. He succeeded, and Roxas began to wake up a little more as he was helped out of the tub. Sora pulled the plug and told Roxas to stay where he was, as he quickly dried himself off first and put on a clean pair of boxers and then hurried back over to Roxas.

"Arms," Sora demanded. Roxas held out his arms. Sora dried them. The fluffy towel moved from Roxas' last bicep down to his torso, soaking up all the left over water droplets on Roxas' fair body.

"Turn," Sora uttered. Roxas cautiously turned his body around to reveal his back and soon felt the towel move across it, drying him off some more. Sora gently turned Roxas back around.

"Leg," Sora was like. Roxas placed a leg on the edge of the tub near Sora, and Sora dried it. He alternated legs so Sora could dry the other off, and then stepped out of the now-empty tub. Sora turned to walk over to the pile of clean clothes, but took a double-take back at Roxas, an eyebrow raised. Before Roxas knew it, the towel was thrown over top of his head, and before he could pull it off, Sora was tousling it about, trying to dry off Roxas' hair now, too. Roxas stood still and waited for Sora to stop.

Sora gave Roxas clean boxers, an old T-shirt, and sweatpants that were too long for him and covered his whole foot except for the tips of his socked feet. Sora put on something similar. He didn't care what he wore to bed. He'd be asleep; he just wanted to be comfortable.

Back in Sora's room, Sora already knew there was no other place Roxas could sleep other than sharing Sora's bed. He'd recommend the guest room, but the 'guest room' wasn't much of a 'guest room' now that Sora's mom had put several desks in there to keep files of past patients. Not to mention the door that leads up to the attic. Sora already had to pry Roxas away from that earlier; he didn't want to have Roxas wandering around up there. It wasn't haunted. It just wasn't _safe._ The floor up there creaked, and there was no promise that it wouldn't cave in beneath you and you'd come falling through it and onto the second floor of the house.

Sora's arms dropped by his sides, his face hard as he turned to look at Roxas. Though, his expression softened into a small smile at the tender look upon the blond's face.

Sora shrugged, "I just took a bath with you. What difference does it make now if I let you sleep in my bed with me? Can't get any more close and personal than that, right?"

Roxas only stared back at him, his sleepiness getting the best of him. Sora walked over to his bed, pulling the blanket back and stepping away from it, telling Roxas to get in first without the use of words. Roxas caught on and moved slowly over to the bed, carefully placing himself underneath the covers and lay down, facing the window. Sora's scent filled his nostrils as he cuddled closer into the pillows. He felt the mattress shift when extra weight was added on the other side of the bed, and covers were tugged on lightly.

Sora lay, facing the opposite way, both boys' backs to one another.

"G'night, Roxas," Sora said, his tone soft and quiet, only to be replied by the light snores coming from Roxas on the other side of the bed.

Maybe Sora didn't make the wrong decision. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be.

Even if it wasn't, it was still nice to be able to actually hear the other boy breathe in his slumber.


End file.
